By Galia Ozari

The initial weeks of the new school year are rife with irrational crying jags, temper tantrums and separation anxiety. By the time kids manage to calm their parents down, the school year is halfway over.

It is understandable to be nervous when your child begins a new school year, especially if your child is under five years old, and school is a new concept. In order to keep your sanity, and keep your child calm, happy and optimistic about school, there are several things to keep in mind:

• Teachers are teachers because they love kids. Even teachers who are moms themselves refer to students as "my kids" and usually treat them as well as (if not better than) their own. One teacher recounts her son and daughter's jealousy over the phrase "my kids" and how they vehemently corrected her: "We're your kids, Mom! They're your students!" And, as the old teacher joke goes, "Obviously we love the kids...we're not in it for the money!" So, keep in mind that no matter how teachers vary in appearance, age, race and demeanor, chances are that your child is in loving hands.
• Never let your child detect your school-related anxiety. Like animals, they sense fear. If you show that you are the least bit apprehensive, or they overhear you discussing your concerns about the teacher, administration, policies or schedule (even if you are right), they get scared themselves. Stay calm, and if they do overhear you (you never know, kids are small and seem to creep up on you) minimize the issue and remind them how much fun school will be. As a former teacher, I vividly recall how the anxiety level of the parent directly correlated with that of the child, so much so that I could actually graph it
• If possible, visit the school grounds before the first day. Usually early childhood classrooms have visiting mornings to welcome the child with a parent, for an abbreviated school day, complete with Meeting Time, Exploration and snack. Even if your school does this, it doesn't hurt to visit over the summer and play on the playground or walk the halls. Just be sure that you clear it with school officials first.
• Respect the rules and practices of the classroom. If a teacher went to your place of work and told you how to do your job, you would resent it, right? Well, so would she. Teachers have rules for a reason, and to make your child comfortable and happy, he will need consistency and routine, so he will know what to expect, and what will be expected of him. Which brings us to a biggie...
• It's called "drop off," not "cling and linger" Every year, teachers beg parents to drop and go. Clinging, lingering, stalling...these actions tell your child that the bright, colorful classroom is actually a Dickensian child-hell, not a fun place to be. Your child will sense your reluctance to leave and wonder why you are scared to leave her alone there. He may feel guilty for making Mommy or Daddy feel bad by saying goodbye and going to play. And, no matter how violently your child cries in front of you, most of the time he is fine once you leave and he can join new friends, look at books, build with blocks or go to the sensory table.
• Focus on the positive. This is an exciting time for the whole family! It will be so rewarding to see all the progress and new developments your child will make this year. You will see her acquire new skills, gain confidence, and make great friends. Look forward to the upcoming school year and enjoy!