Since the 9/11 tragedy and "Operation Iraqi Freedom," these questions are racing through our minds:

1) What are parents supposed to do about telling their kids?
2) What can we do for our kids?
3) Our children's lives have changed. How can we help them?

• Be careful not to let children under 10-12 years old watch the TV as this can be very traumatic for them. Older kids need to talk about what they see on TV.
• Don't use words like invasion or war, these are too frightening for younger kids. Use more factual words like: The building was hit by an airplane. The President will help us.
• Try to give your children facts, not necessarily gory facts. Remember parents, facts will really take days to come in.
• Spend more time with them. Some kids will requires a lot more time. For those kids it might be useful to lie down with them at night or they could even sleep on the floor of your bedroom.
• Hug the kids a lot more often. Physical contact will settle them down. Children need much more support during these times.
• You may see more accidents (like bed wetting). It's OK, this will most likely pass.
• Watch for "kid stories" and misconceptions -- we have them too. Parents need to listen to what their kids are saying. They will get all sorts of wrong information from their classmates. Kids could say statements like "The world is coming to an end," "Your going to be next" (i.e., killed). Don't use anger, just tell them the facts when you correct them.
• For the most part, take what or how you as a parent are feeling and triple the reaction for your child. This is a good way to understand how your child is feeling.
• For kids who are upset and will not talk, try gradually to get them to draw a picture on what they are seeing in their mind. Discuss this picture with them.
• Kids will have more fears about being at school and away from their parents. Tell them it's OK and then transition them to something else like playing with a toy.
• TV will make this very real for the children. It could traumatize them. Our country has only had a few experiences with this type of trauma on children.
• Keep the children very busy, like playing with friends.
• Some children will feel that the world is unsafe, just as many adults do. Tell them it's OK.
• Keep the kids busy and away from the TV and radio, if the news is playing.
• Try to interact with them in a matter of fact way. Children will feel your tension.
• Parents, tell your children what is wrong or bothering you. Children will feel your stress. Tell them in a simple way: Some bad people hurt a big building (an example for a 5-year old.)