Involved Fathers,
Healthier Children
Information supplied by Waukesha Memorial Hospital
A Parents Magazine survey found that 84 percent of men spend more time with their children than did their fathers. What's more, 72 percent said they'd spend even more time if their jobs would let them. Obviously, American fathers are truly enjoying their role and gaining something from the time spent with their children.
Many recent studies underscore the tremendous benefits that children reap from close, father-child relationships. Studies that focus on the first year of life generally conclude that regardless of whether they're experienced or simply willing, loving novices, involved fathers make a significant difference.
At six months of age, says one study, boys who received lots of attention from their fathers are happier and brighter than those who did not. Girls with involved fathers grow up more confident.
Other studies indicate that these children later are better adjusted and do better in school and in social relationships.
"Being an involved father at a young age pays off great dividends," says Robb Simcock, MS, a psychotherapist at Waukesha Memorial Hospital's Center for Behavioral Health who specializes in child and family therapy. "Even 15 minutes of undivided attention after work and 15 minutes at bedtime is time well invested."
During the next few years, fathers often pour on the stimulation with physical activity and scary fantasy games, pushing a child to face a world that is both fearful and delightful. Studies show that children who have good interactions with their father during the first three years of life are better able to explore new activities, persist in problem solving and control frustration. In the teenage years, fathers help children establish independence. According to Dave Poehlmann, CADC III, chemical dependency counselor at Lawrence Center, conflict resolution is extremely important during these years. "Working through problems together strengthens your bond while allowing your teen to do his or her own emotional homework," he says.
A typical conflict-resolution follows these steps. Let your child talk about his or her feelings, needs or wants. Repeat them back. Briefly describe your feelings and needs. Brainstorm solutions, letting the child go first. Write down all ideas. Decide on a plan and a way to follow up.
The flavor of the relationship changes again when your children are adults. "If you've done the groundwork when your kids were young, a solid relationship will naturally extend into their adult years. Your children will consider you part of their lives, not an intrusion," says Joe Muchka, MS, CADC III, psychotherapist at the Center for Behavioral Health.
Finally, fathers who take their children to the park, play a game together, go out to lunch with their children of find other ways to be involved benefit the entire family. One recent study concluded that involved fathers enjoyed more marital stability and happiness, and were more likely to advance in their own careers.
Information supplied by Waukesha
Memorial Hospital.
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